69 Nice Penis Gifts That'll Make Dudes, Dudettes, And Especially Bachelorettes Laugh Their Butts Off

Become this generation’s most foremost dick pic photographer by learning the finer points of this underrated art form with How To Take Better Dick Picks. You’ll master all the techniques so that you never have to worry amount someone cringing on the receiving end.

No yolks about it, this egg mold is the reason you'll be able to make the most NSFW breakfast sandwich you've ever eaten. It's with a subtle mold like this that you can drop hints to your partner you wanna do more with your morning wood after breakfast.

This is one wind-up toy you won't wanna have out around the kids. Give Wind-Up Willie a few twists of his old crank and your boy will start choking the chicken like it's what he was born to do.

Featuring such delicious recipes as "Choked Chicken" and "Beef Stroke-one-Off", the cooking with semen cookbook is ideal for any gent who's intrigued by that sperm-to-table lifestyle that's so hot right now. JUST KIDDING! But you can traumatize your buddy with this joke notebook by making him think it's legit.

Show off your stuff to everyone at the backyard pool party with the Dick Towel. You'll have your choice of styles between booty, micropenis, or massive schlong. The soft towel is absorbent and is great for hanging out post-shower, too.

Gents, let's just get this out of the way, your weenie will fit into the hole in the center of this book, even when it's standing tall. Laugh your way through the board book, which could be used for foreplay for a couple that's got a wacky sense of humor.

Oversized Male Genitalia (OMG) is a terrible disease that affects men with EGO (Extremely Grand OpinionOfOneself) and it's HARD. Harder than a stiff morning woodie. This hilarious book is full of prayers, affirmations, and pro tips for dudes with gargantuan dicks to make their way through life.

The Peter Putter gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "shooting your shot." The aluminum putter has a rubber grip and weighs only 2 pounds, so it might actually be one you wanna put in your bag for your next trip to the links.

Just when you thought coloring couldn't get any more stress-relieving, this book of Cocktastic Colourful Cocks came along. Grab your colored pencils and turn these peens into works of art. Are they worthy to be tacked on the fridge? You better bet they are.

You thought you knew everything about your mini-me but Your Penis will prove you wrong in the most delightful way. Yes, there's an anatomy lesson, but there's a wealth of information about penis misconceptions, hidden talents, inner workings, and more. And of course a ruler on the spine to measure your size.

Little Penis: A Finger Puppet Parody Book will entertain and delight everyone, minus the kids. In this clever and vividly illustrated book, you’ll bring Little Penis to life and go on a remarkable adventure that’s sure to conclude in a happy ending for all.

You know what's even better than dick jokes? Dick facts, and this book is full of them. Did you know female lice have dicks? Or that barnacles have the largest penis size to body size ratio? Learn all that and more in this mind-blowing book of animal penis facts - with pictures!