33 Ridiculously Funny Kitchen Towels That Are Decorative And Delightful

Keep your family guessing by doing one thing every day that scares them. Not one thing that scares you, one thing that scares THEM. Scaring them is probably a lot easier than scaring yourself so you won't this towel to mop up the blood you (won't) spill.

When you're inviting company over for the first time and you need to remind everyone to be chill. Not even on their best behavior, just to chill the f*ck out. This kitchen towel will be a silent reminder not to be weird.

I'll take, "things you can say during sex and in the kitchen" for $200, Alex. Heed these words and with any luck, you won't add a kid to the family (until you want to anyway) and you won't burn your cookies. Talk about a win-win.

Cockadoodle-doo mother cluckers! You'll want to get out of bed bright and early so you can see this kitchen towel hanging from the stove. Don't chicken out on setting your alarm for an ungodly hour, it means you'll get more silence before everyone else gets up.

Say bye bye bye to piles upon piles of dirty plates and bowls in the sink with a little help from N*Sync. Set out this towel and the five-pack boyband from the '90s will have everyone in your house singing tunes and washing their own sh*t.

For real though, snacks are so distracting. And after you have a snack, what do you want to do? You want to take a nap. And by then anything that was banging around in your head is gone so yeah, this kitchen towel checks out. 10/10 no notes.

Picture it: you're stressed and you reach for a glass of water. You'll feel more stressed after you do that! WAter better move and get out of the way for a red, white, or rose and let you find peace in something that has flavor. And a good flavor at that.

Your camper is your second home so it deserves a kitchen towel of its very own. This charming tea towel will give you a laugh every time you see it.

There are a lot of things that can go wrong in the kitchen. When that pumpkin cheesecake you were supposed to bring to Thanksgiving collapses into a pile of what looks like cat puke, you just gotta succ it up. Luckily there is this kitchen towel to dry your tears and clean your counter.

Gossip with your dog all you want, he's man's best friend for a reason, he never tells anyone that you've been gossiping about him. You can complain all you want and he'll never tell you to shut up. And when you start laughing or shouting, he gets excited.

If you're a "quitcher b*tchin' or get out of the kitchen" type family, then this very sweary towel set is the one for you. There's one with the F word and another with the S word, it's a match made in NSFW heaven.

The secret ingredient is...you! That's right. No one could make cookies like you do and it's not because you add a dash of nutmeg (try it, though, you won't regret it). It's because you add the zhuzh to the fudge and the pizzazz to the pastries with your personality and perfection that no one else could.