27 Absurdly Funny Bookmarks That Are Perfect For The Bookworm In Your Life

Make your favorite bookworm’s day with this whoopee cushion bookmark. This hilarious cross between a whoopee cushion and a bookmark measures 7.5″ x 2.8″ and will come in handy as both a bookmark and a prop for pranking.

Hippos are omnivores but are books in that category? IT would seem so if you take this very chompy bookmark seriously. The hippo in question is getting ready to take some big bites out of an equally big book.

The sentiment on this bookmark seems like the kind that someone came up with when they were super high and honestly, it's genius. Now imagine what the taste of different genres would be. Mind. Blown.

Got nuts? Go nuts...for books! This bookmark might leave you feeling a little squirrely, but all the best books do. Save your spot in something a little sheepish and you'll only double down on those feels.

Rubber chicken, you're the one, you make reading lots of fun, rubber chicken, you're the one it's true, HONK! That's how the rhyme goes, right? Keep your place in your book with this plastic marker, styled after the iconic annoying toy.

A wise woman who was also a sassy woman, no one with only sage wisdom would tell folks to f*ck off so she can read. When you need to break out some floral language but can't be bothered to look up from your book flash this mark at 'em.

Before it was a movie, The Wizard of Oz was a book and it had a lot of sequels! Make like Dorothy and kill the witch on your way to Oz by using this Wicked Witch bookmark. The Munchkins will thank you.

You're gonna need a bigger book when you start marking your pages with this shark. May we suggest Moby Dick, which is so freaking long that you'll get an ocean-sized use out of the mark. That is...unless the shark eats the whale and cuts the story short.

Yes, you read the name of this bookmark correctly, it's really called the senility prayer and not the serenity prayer. Frankly, this one might be better, and has the same baller vibes that Bilbo Baggins' speech did at his birthday party.

"Tis but a flesh wound" is what the knight that belongs to the feet of this bookmark would say if you were using it to mark your spot in a funny book. If it's a fantasy book, it might make a joke about being the wicked warlock of the round table.

The great thing about books is that they're a way to escape your real life without going anywhere at all. Ergo, this bookmark couldn't be closer to the truth. Take a little stay-cay vaca by cracking open an old favorite.

If you've ever been in the performing arts you'll know what this bookmark *really* means. "Just one more chapter" is code for "one more chapter after that" and so on. It could turn into the whole darn book if you're not careful.

It's im-pasta-ble to get reading done when you're not sure how you're going to mark your page. Luckily, the spaghetti monster is here to help you out. The cute plastic bookmark would really look cute in a cookbook.

Watch your love of reading literally grow with a set of bookmarks that look like little sprouts. There are eight in this set, which makes it ideal for books where you want to mark a lot of pages.

Have a roar-some good time getting a little reading done with a set of bookmarks that are truly intimidating. Have you ever seen something scarier than this flat shart and flat T-Rex? We haven't either.

This bookmark was made for your local cat lady. No one will be bothering her while she's reading her stories with this cute marker on the table next to her.

Reading in bed is actually one of the most dangerous hobbies you can have. It can lead to falling asleep at your desk, dark circles under your eyes, and perpetual fatigue. But it can also lead to having a particularly juicy scene to discuss with Carol at the office the next day. Worth the risk.

Just like you have your best thoughts in the shower, you're probably doing your best reading on the can. There's no place like the porcelain throne and when you need a marker to keep the place of your secret toilet read, this one will come through for ya.