34 Extremely Funny Golf Towels That'll Make You The Club Champion

Make sure everyone at the country club knows that you're DTG at all times with this towel hanging from your bag. What's DTG? That's Down To Golf. Sounds a lot like the text acronyms your kids like to use.

The question on his hilarious golf towel is a very important one. Make sure you get it established before the game starts. You wouldn't want anyone snapping a putter over their leg out of frustration.

It may be harder to find your balls as you get older but there's one sure-fire place to check; the water. At home, look into the toilet to see if you've got anything drooping down to touch the top, and on the course, check the hazard. Just check for gators first to make sure the family jewels don't get eaten.

Yeah, you can drive 300 yards, what now Tiger Woods? You don't have to specify that those 300 yards driven were all done so in your golf cart. It's not technically lying if you don't specify.

Someone will come to you on this, the day of the biggest golf game of your life, and they will make a request of you. And you can tell them they have to beat you at 18 holes for you to follow through. You're the Golffather, you can refuse any offer.

In the bedroom or the golf course, ya boy is always playing with a stiff shaft, right? He and his buddies will get a kick out of this absolutely ridiculous and slightly suggestive towel.

If the Kraken is a drive that lands the ball on the green instead of the water trap or the sand hazard, by all means, release it. Your buddies have been waiting on you to do that for years. Let this towel be your inspiration and for the love of god, release the Kraken.

Take a mulligan and blame it on forgetting your glasses. Or, pretend like you're a total ditz and get yourself a second second try. This towel is great for poking a little fun at a gal with the worst aim on the course.

The 19th hole is the drinking hole so unless you're ready to pay up you better play up all 18 that lead up to it. This towel will be the inspiration you need to get the lowest score of your whole life.

Ladies know that if they reverse the two and wine first and putt later that they'll be in some big trouble. They'll be out on the course so long that the bar might close! This set will get them back to the clubhouse extra fast thanks to some added accessories.

You didn't retire so you could rush, deadlines are something you left behind at the office. This towel will send quicker parties that just want to the game to end to go around you, leaving you to savor every moment of your tee time.

Mr. Spock knew a lot of things about a lot of things, he was a logical guy. So for him to say that driving long was the key to prospering, seems like pretty sound reasoning. Heed his words and you'll be boldly going where no golfer has gone before.

Champagne does contain SOME water, just not a lot of it. By opting for some bubbly you're doing your part to help with water conservation. The towel comes with some fun accessories, too, like a golf marker and bag.

Concept: a bedazzled golf club. How awesome would that be? Then no one would be able to complain that golf is boring. Be the blingiest babe on the course while hanging this towel from your cart and using the included tees and marker.

RIP to your family line and here's hoping you never have to meet the course kid that left the rake in the sand trap. But hey, you gotta admit this towel is also correct as far as your golf game goes.

Every golfer needs a sassy motto and gents, you couldn't ask for one better than this one. Grip it, rip it, and sip it will be your new "let it ride" for good or for ill.

You've seen this label somewhere before but you just can't place it. You'll figure it out by the time the beer cart girl comes over and places a nice cold can in your hands. Then it'll all make sense.

When you turn 65 you're finally free, not to join your wife at home doing whatever it is she does, you're free to take all the time you want playing golf. Hang this towel on your bag and get out there!