35 Really Amazing Housewarming Gifts That Every Homeowner Will Obsess Over

Bring a little fucking spice and uniqueness to your bookshelf with Fuck That’s Delicious. Apart from 40 mouth-watering recipes inspired by Bronson’s life and travels, this culinary compendium also comes loaded with pictures, siren songs, and of course weed.

Make those awful sick days a little less sucky with this comically designed cat butt tissue holder. Crafted from resin, this cute little kitty measures 12.5″ long x 9.25″ wide and is designed to fit over most standard square tissue boxes.

Bring a whole lot of awesomeness into your life by beautifying your personal space with a David Hasselhoff Chia Pet. He comes dressed in his iconic Knight Rider outfit and will grow a bitching green afro in just one to two weeks.

Stop living hour to hour and live life in the slow lane with help from the day of the week clock. Rather than keeping track of the hours in a day, the clock keeps track of each day of the week, making this great for both weekend warriors and retirees.

Make movie nights feel a little extra special by setting the mood with this Blockbuster Video Store scented candle. It features a nostalgic scent reminiscent of dusty carpet and buttered popcorn and will last anywhere from 30 to 50 hours.

Conserve heat and lower your electric bill throughout the cold winter months by setting up this room in a room. The small tent fits directly over your existing bed, can be fitted with a light, and features a mesh top designed to ventilate the air.

Set the world on fire with these Earth-shaped fire pits! Each of these eye-catching fire pits is hand-cut from durable carbon steel with an iron oxide finish that will provide you with years of aesthetically pleasing yet functional fires.

Throw out that scrawny toilet paper holder and get yourself a jacked up strong man that can hold two rolls of TP at the same time! Available in both black and red colors, this aluminum strong man toilet paper holder makes an excellent gift idea for body builders.

No need for bowls of potpourri to keep the crapper smelling springtime fresh when you have a bottle of “fuck that shit” classy toilet spray. Just a few spritzes are all it takes to neutralize even the foulest of human odors.

Unleash your inner culinary wizard by stepping up your game in the kitchen with The Duke’s Mayonnaise Cookbook. This kitchen essential comes jampacked with 75 creative and delicious recipes that’ll have everyone at the dinner table begging for seconds.

Satisfy your latent phallic interests by decorating your home with some of these floral penis pattern throw pillows. At first glance the design looks like a lovely flower pattern – but take a deeper look – they’re overflowing with hardy cocks of all shapes and sizes.

Create a dreamy out-of-this-world ambiance by powering on this levitating moon lamp. This alluring and arresting piece measures nine inches in diameter and can be set to one of sixteen different colors using the handy remote.

Give your dog a bed that matches his laid back personality – the hammock dog bed is a comfy and stylish bed that is available in both small and large sizes. Crafted using only eco-friendly materials, the bed will perfectly compliment all your other home decor.

Add some whimsy to your home’s decor by bringing in this furry yak ottoman into your living room. This cleverly designed ottoman stands 17.25-inches tall and comes decked out in a fuzzy faux fur exterior complemented by two small horns that make it appear like a pint-size yak.

Turn your dank buds into perfectly sculpted masterpieces by learning the noble art of Cannabonsai. Cannabonsai: A Beginners Guide will show you how to transform auto-flowering plants into aesthetically pleasing Bonsai inspired creations.

Keep the party going all day long with the Tommy Bahama rolling cooler close by. Built more as a movable bar than a regular cooler, its sturdy stainless steel body stands up to heavy use and provides all the amenities you need to remain inebriated.

Let everyone who comes over for a visit know you enjoy puffing on the devil’s lettuce by adding some ambiance to your digs with this Bob Marley lava lamp. This groovy rasta-colored lava lamp stands 14.5″ tall and is etched with a graphic of the iconic reggae singer.

White Trash Cooking proves that you don’t need to spend big to eat great. This 25th-anniversary edition comes loaded with more than 200 tasty recipes gathered from West Virginia to Key West along with 45 full-color photographs.